Lord Ba'al
Supreme Deity
Posts: 6,260
Pledge level: Half a Partner
I like: Cats; single malt Scotch; Stargate; Amiga; fried potatoes; retro gaming; cheese; snickers; sticky tape.
I don't like: Dimples in the bottom of scotch bottles; Facebook games masquerading as godgames.
Steam: stonelesscutter
GOG: stonelesscutter
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Post by Lord Ba'al on Feb 21, 2015 22:11:35 GMT
Tragically, a bunch more perished in The Swamp Of Misery today. The population of Swamp Island is at 77 so I suppose divine forgiveness is in order. I do hereby, therefore nullify the abominations of the miscreant Astari and intercede on their behalf. May they be teleported or transmuted into my blessed realm or may their travails in the hellish purgatory be, er... shortened to a time of, ah... less than eternity. I hath spoken. Does this mean you removed the swamps?
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Post by darkmoondragon on Feb 21, 2015 22:48:30 GMT
Tragically, a bunch more perished in The Swamp Of Misery today. The population of Swamp Island is at 77 so I suppose divine forgiveness is in order. I do hereby, therefore nullify the abominations of the miscreant Astari and intercede on their behalf. May they be teleported or transmuted into my blessed realm or may their travails in the hellish purgatory be, er... shortened to a time of, ah... less than eternity. I hath spoken. Does this mean you removed the swamps? Hell no. I've forgiven them, I haven't grown soft. It's a "spiritual" thing only.
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Post by darkmoondragon on Feb 22, 2015 0:18:44 GMT
I humbly submit this explanation to the one Lord of Gods: With all respect Lord Ba'al my plan for my wayward children is nearly perfect. Not a one has died "by my hand." If you make the swamp large enough many of them will wander, lost in the swamp until they starve. That is their choice! They are free to stay in their vile city and not attend the heinous festival. They are free to make the short swim to salvation. And they are free to not wander so deep into the swamp. Alas, they are also brainless. But that is the fault of the dark forces at 22Cans and not mine. My hands are clean.
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Lord Ba'al
Supreme Deity
Posts: 6,260
Pledge level: Half a Partner
I like: Cats; single malt Scotch; Stargate; Amiga; fried potatoes; retro gaming; cheese; snickers; sticky tape.
I don't like: Dimples in the bottom of scotch bottles; Facebook games masquerading as godgames.
Steam: stonelesscutter
GOG: stonelesscutter
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Post by Lord Ba'al on Feb 22, 2015 0:45:38 GMT
Lol. Point taken. You are the personification of virtue and mercy.
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Post by Marshmallows on Feb 22, 2015 2:03:10 GMT
I have lovingly bookmarked this thread as "Square Boobs and Swamp Lights". Also, with so much belief left over, why not use to change all the land into sea? You might get sore fingers, but I'm sure the waterfront view is worth it. Or, if you're the artistic kind, how about making an Astari shaped island?
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Post by darkmoondragon on Feb 22, 2015 2:31:49 GMT
The plain fact is Marshmallows that the Astari are a burden which I must bear as the god of my small realm. They require a kind of exquisitely firm mercy on my part to be controlled, so to speak, else they lure my pious Followers to a certain doom on their squalid island. But sculpt an island in their form?! I think not. They are a thorn which I endure rather than adore. They have the most alarming and despicable habit of becoming happier and happier as they descend inexorably into extinction! Hence the necessity of The Swamp Of Misery. I have sworn to be a good steward of my tiny people and can therefore by no means be the direct instrument of their destruction. But they are doing a fine job of eliminating themselves on their own. Thank you for your concern and support. Cheers!
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Post by Iris on Feb 22, 2015 15:53:09 GMT
I just read the chronicles of your struggle with the Astari. As a fellow god, I applaud your efforts to remain merciful and the way you eloquently record them. Your style of writing makes it most enjoyable to read.
I also recognize your struggles. I have roughly 280 Astari-heathens left and about a 100 converted Astari who live in happiness on my land. I get reports that more have seen the light, but I do not know what happened to them. I also cannot deny that some may have died at the peak of my frustration. However, this happened many days ago and my goodwill has not failed me since. Reading of your success makes me more determined to help the rest see the light as well. Your chronicles must be an inspiration to many gods.
There is also a small group of Astari (three, there used to be seven but I put four of them out of their misery) stuck on a small ridge on the island of Astariton. They must have fallen down in drunken stupor and are unable to climb up. Have any fellow gods here seen a similar event? I am not sure how to handle them. I'd also like to advise to all of you not to go to your Homeworld while dealing with the Astari. Although I was absent from Weyworld for barely two minutes, the happiness of my people had dropped when I returned while the Astari were very happy. As they don't believe in me, I am dumbfounded on how my absence brings them happiness.
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Post by darkmoondragon on Feb 22, 2015 22:04:20 GMT
Update, 02/22/2015: Another sad day on Swamp Island. Many souls perished today in the great swamp. I was inconsolable. But I was lucky enough to get a great snapshot of the unspeakable event for my album. The population of Swamp City now stands at 46 desperate individuals. The spirits of those sent to wander in purgatory bubbled up from the ocean in bleak torment. I got a nice picture of this too! None came over to my blessed land that I know of and I would likely know being that I'm the "god" around here. It's all a bit heart wrenching and unpleasant. But it would be considerably more unpleasant if their absurd propensity for happiness in the face of doom lured my Followers into their swampy hell. It always seems to come down to the lesser of two evils even for us gods doesn't it? Sometimes I'd like to shove this job!! Oh well. Thank you for your kind words Iris. It truly has been a struggle. But what grieves me most deeply is that I have not been able to visit Homeworld in many generations; likely centuries have passed from the point of view of my tiny Followers. The reason is of course the paradox of which you spoke. The Astari believe not in me and neither do they see me until they come to my land. Yet they are filled with glee if I go to Homeworld. Therefore I must needs be trust in providence and the grace of myself for their safety and deliverance, until my great task in Weyworld is done and I may go unto them once more. Cheers.
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Post by darkmoondragon on Feb 22, 2015 22:32:07 GMT
Here is a splendid snapshot of Horsefly Cove which I took on my last sojourn on Swamp Island. The poisonous muck isn't nearly as deep here and the horseflies are so big that they can easily nip off an ear or finger! Regrettably the Astari seldom venture past their evil fountain and have only recently been to this cove on the eastern shore of their island. Note: The black dots are horseflies. Why they are black dots with no wings is a mystery which only the dark forces at 22Cans can answer. They do buzz like flies. Thanks Lord Ba'al for moving the thread. I only hope whoever might be reading my woeful tale discovers where it was moved. Not that it matters a whole lot. Mostly this thread is a kind of therapy for me. I needed to get all this despair and, sob... Misery and, sob... Death and all sorts of stuff off my chest and put down so to speak... for posterity or whatever... Whatever.
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Lord Ba'al
Supreme Deity
Posts: 6,260
Pledge level: Half a Partner
I like: Cats; single malt Scotch; Stargate; Amiga; fried potatoes; retro gaming; cheese; snickers; sticky tape.
I don't like: Dimples in the bottom of scotch bottles; Facebook games masquerading as godgames.
Steam: stonelesscutter
GOG: stonelesscutter
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Post by Lord Ba'al on Feb 22, 2015 23:06:12 GMT
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Post by darkmoondragon on Feb 23, 2015 1:58:33 GMT
Just a pleasant shot of swamp lights and poisonous gases rising from Swamp Island in the early evening. I suddenly realized almost all my pictures were closeups and I should offer a larger panorama before the inevitable end of my story and the "wild Astari." It will be sad to see the end of this unique hominid in its natural form. Oh well... 'tis the way of the world.
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Post by Qetesh on Feb 23, 2015 12:17:31 GMT
I found it.
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Lord Ba'al
Supreme Deity
Posts: 6,260
Pledge level: Half a Partner
I like: Cats; single malt Scotch; Stargate; Amiga; fried potatoes; retro gaming; cheese; snickers; sticky tape.
I don't like: Dimples in the bottom of scotch bottles; Facebook games masquerading as godgames.
Steam: stonelesscutter
GOG: stonelesscutter
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Post by Lord Ba'al on Feb 23, 2015 13:30:16 GMT
I found it. Congratulations. What did you find?
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Post by darkmoondragon on Feb 23, 2015 14:19:54 GMT
I just had to add this snapshot I took yesterday evening. It's like a fairyland of poisonous gases, quicksand and foul muck and decay! I love the subtle pastel shades! Sometimes I just get lucky with my photography. It's one for the album for sure!!
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Post by darkmoondragon on Feb 23, 2015 20:11:27 GMT
Update, 02/23/2015: Incidental- Apparently some code was left out or done incorrectly because on the rare occasions that I find a gem in a treasure box the screen always freezes and I get an "authorizing" wheel. I'm on IOS. Perhaps Raspofabs or someone could check this out. Another persistent glitch is in the Fountain Gift which sometimes has no water coming out of it during celebrations. Astari abodes still have Followers looking out of them which really deadens the illusion of a real word. Are all these bugs really that difficult to fix? At this very moment I have two waterless fountains with tiny people celebrating around them. They look like idiots. I notice you did "various bug fixes" on February 18th. I guess you missed these! Update, 02/23/2015: Festival- Tragic. Oh, the misery! Following each other, like so many insects, the few remaining individuals of the once mighty Astari people made their way deep into the Swamp Of Misery today. They were mostly female as you can see by my snapshot. Apparently the Astari people had held their women folk in reserve. Possibly hoping for the day they could repopulate their decimated cities. It's like watching the fall of the ancient Maya or perhaps the collapse of the Hapsburg empire. Oh, the humanity!... Well, actually not human but hominid of some kind. I will report later on how many,... sniff, sniff,... survive, later today.
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Post by darkmoondragon on Feb 23, 2015 20:58:57 GMT
Update, 02/23/2015: Well, it grieves me tremendously to report that the population of Swamp Island now stands at 35, mostly female, Astari. Eleven wee spirits have crossed over that great divide into the bleak, hellish, unspeakable purgatory where nonbelievers inevitably go. Before long the only Astari in my universe will be tamed ones. Alas, all ages have their moment, and time's hand moves inexorably forward. It truly brings a tear to my eye, sob... but such is the way of things. The last Astari in the great swamp could not resist drinking himself to death in their wicked fountain of debauchery. I have posted a snapshot of this misbegotten soul. Yet those who have turned unto me have had their spirits washed clean. There, in my blessed realm, they shall thrive and be loved until I can use them as cannon fodder in the coming battles with the forces of evil. What greater love than to lay down one's life in the service of one's god? What greater folly than to turn away from the light of my salvation? Amen. Once again, my deep and abiding thanks to the other gods in our great multiverse who have supported me and given me the hope to forge ahead.
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Post by darkmoondragon on Feb 24, 2015 20:14:25 GMT
Update, 02/24/2015: The Festival- A fell wind blew across Swamp Island today and the poisonous mist rising from the desolate swamp was more dense than I have ever seen. Hours earlier, upon arising from my godly slumber, I had noticed with alarm that the Astari happiness meter had risen nearly to the very top and above that of my pious Followers. The Astari were clearly ecstatic that they were at the very precipice of extinction and doom. But this was not to be the last or the least of the hideous things to be revealed to me, for at the appointed hour of their demonic spectacle the Astari who spewed forth from the city were almost all males!! Yet just yesterday virtually every Astari to survive the swamp was a female!! Oh, hellish island of deception and perfidy!! A great anguish and sense of horror and dread filled me as I realized that these poor creatures were shape shifters or worse... they were the spawns of the dark forces at 22Cans!! Perhaps it will be a mercy if none of them return from the poisonous quagmire today. More later...
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Lord Ba'al
Supreme Deity
Posts: 6,260
Pledge level: Half a Partner
I like: Cats; single malt Scotch; Stargate; Amiga; fried potatoes; retro gaming; cheese; snickers; sticky tape.
I don't like: Dimples in the bottom of scotch bottles; Facebook games masquerading as godgames.
Steam: stonelesscutter
GOG: stonelesscutter
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Post by Lord Ba'al on Feb 24, 2015 21:08:15 GMT
Astari == hermafrodite ?
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Post by darkmoondragon on Feb 24, 2015 22:00:11 GMT
Update, 02/24/2015: As recent events have served to remind me, I am not The God but merely a god and there are forces in the cosmos more sinister and more powerful than I. The universe is infinite and contains truths both profound and sickening: both as beautiful as the morning's dew on the first flowers of Spring, and so hideous that the very soul shudders at their apprehension. And while the Astari fall on the dark side of this continuum, yet there is hope. Some have found their way to my shining shores and dwell in eternal bliss and subjugation. Little Jackie Jenkins is not truly lost for she dwells forever in my heart. And the dark forces at 22Cans will not hold eternal sway for darker forces yet will arise in the fullness of time and swallow them in turn. Many died in the Swamp of Misery today. The poisonous mists and fumes cleared for a moment and at that instant a multitude perished and I got a rare snapshot of those Astari dissolving into spirit form and leaving the maya of this illusory realm. It will make a treasured photo for my album. The population of the Astari now stands at 19. You might say it is now five minutes to midnight for the once mighty Astari empire. Not my fault. They're idiots. Perhaps that is so Lord Ba'al or perhaps the truth is more sinister. I will leave others to speculate.
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Lord Ba'al
Supreme Deity
Posts: 6,260
Pledge level: Half a Partner
I like: Cats; single malt Scotch; Stargate; Amiga; fried potatoes; retro gaming; cheese; snickers; sticky tape.
I don't like: Dimples in the bottom of scotch bottles; Facebook games masquerading as godgames.
Steam: stonelesscutter
GOG: stonelesscutter
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Post by Lord Ba'al on Feb 24, 2015 22:20:35 GMT
There are only 19 left? How many days do we think their civilization will last? Should we start a poule?
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