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Post by Crumpy Six on Aug 3, 2015 6:57:13 GMT
My fiance and I have decided to give up alcohol for the month of August. He initially suggested this because he wants to slim down and tone up for our upcoming wedding in October. While we are both reasonably fit, alcohol is our biggest vice as far as calories are concerned. Initially I grudgingly agreed to this plan in order to show solidarity, but I was quite surprised at myself for how averse I was to the idea and how difficult I imagined it would be. This concerned me, so in an effort to prove to myself that I am not actually an alcoholic and this is not a big deal, I'm determined to see it through.
I have two reasons for recording my progress here. Firstly, I think it will help me with my own resolve. None of my friends or close colleagues are non-drinkers. In fact, most of them have similar lifestyles to me, so if I fail or have a moment of weakness they're unlikely to be particularly supportive about it (if anything they will encourage me to give up and have a drink!). Secondly, I am aware that there are representatives from a lot of different age groups, cultures and nationalities on these boards, and it might be interesting for them to get some insight into British middle-class drinking culture.
Background
I am 30ish, female and work in finance. I have been in this role since February. My previous job was with one of the Big 4 accountancy firms, and although my professional life was much more stressful when I was in this role, my lifestyle meant that I actually drank less: I had long commutes on many mornings, and couldn't afford to be sleepy or hungover. I was client-facing most of the time and needed to be in good form. I worked long hours and would often be home late and tired, so had fewer commitments in the evenings (meeting up with friends or going out to dinner, for example).
My new job is awesome. Not very stressful, 10 minute commute on a bike, better pay. Increased drinking seems to have gone hand-in-hand with this. I used to tell myself that I only drank " a couple of days a week" which seems perfectly acceptable, but I recently reflected on this and it's a load of rubbish. I actually drink at least 4 days a week, and 2 of those are binge sessions. My normal week looks like this:
Saturday - It's Saturday so obviously I have a drink. We'll probably go out for lunch or dinner and have a bottle of wine, but if not it'll be some beers at home throughout the day and maybe some wine with dinner.
Sunday - We nearly always have friends over on a Sunday afternoon to play board games, and this is one of the 2 binge sessions I mentioned. How much I drink depends on when we start and how late we go on for, but I usually start drinking early afternoon and stop around midnight.
Monday - Wednesday - On a typical week these would be non-drinking days, but if I look back over the last few months there aren't many 'typical' weeks. One of us has a rough day at work? A few beers. Nothing planned tonight, let's go out for dinner! Bottle of wine. Something really special is on TV, let's celebrate! You get the idea.
Thursday - This is the second binge day. We go to a pub quiz every Thursday, which involves drinking from 7ish until 11ish.
Friday - Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday... regardless of if we go out or not, we normally have either a few beers and a bottle of wine to celebrate the weekend.
This thread
I will post to record my progress. This will include any particular challenges and temptations I face, any 'slips' I have (hopefully none!), any health benefits I notice, and also the attitudes and reactions of people around me. If anybody would like to join me in Dry August I'd be very interested to know how you get on (I realise it's already August 3rd as I post this, but it's never too late). Also, if anyone has any questions, no matter how personal or probing, I will try to answer them.
I will probably post most frequently towards the beginning of the month because I imagine that'll when the challenge will be greatest. Later on, with any luck I will post less because I will have less to talk about.
Thanks for reading, wish me luck...
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Post by Crumpy Six on Aug 3, 2015 7:20:48 GMT
31st JulyWe make the decision to commit to Dry August. Unfortunately we are drunk in the early hours of Saturday 1st, due to binging on Friday night at a friend's house. We went around to his place after work to play some games and drank from 7:30 until just before midnight. Saturday 1st AugustWe went to visit my future in-laws this weekend. This was the first challenge. Not only is Saturday normally a drinking day, there were the additional hurdles of: - His parents suggesting we buy a bottle of wine to have with dinner, and having to say no.
- Visiting the in-laws is painfully boring. We spend most of the day sitting in silence in the living room, reading newspapers or playing Scrabble. One time we actually resorted to a jigsaw puzzle. We would normally spend a couple of hours in the pub in the afternoon to prevent ourselves from going crazy. But we made it, with the added bonus that we actually spent the whole afternoon with his parents, which is sort of the point of visiting them in the first place.
I sent my friend a text at one point saying "this is going to be a very long month." Given that it was only day 1 it wasn't a terribly optimistic start. Sunday 2nd AugustWe went out for lunch with the in-laws, which would normally have involved a drink but it was easy to say no on this occasion because we had to drive home in the afternoon. Temptation began after 5pm, because as usual for a Sunday we had someone over to play games. I had been worried about this because I have literally never done a board game session without drinking. I was worried I might not enjoy it as much. Additionally, our guest is a heavy drinking and he got through a bottle of wine over the course of the evening. My fiance said at one point "I wish we weren't doing Dry August because I would love some wine." I replied that white wine isn't too calorific so maybe we could have a glass and it wouldn't count. He insisted we stick to our resolution. But this is how easy it is to have a slip. We could very easily have scrapped the whole idea right then, on day 2.
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Lord Ba'al
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I like: Cats; single malt Scotch; Stargate; Amiga; fried potatoes; retro gaming; cheese; snickers; sticky tape.
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Post by Lord Ba'al on Aug 3, 2015 8:23:42 GMT
Sounds like you're doing great so far! Just got started and already succesfully got through a few serious hurdles. There will be other times when you will be tempted to slip up but it will be easier to get through them because you already passed the first challenges. In fact, with every challenge you pass the future ones will be easier. So it's basically all uphill from here!  When it gets tough, remind yourself that if you give in now all those previous moments that you "suffered" will be in vain. Also think about how disappointed Lord Ba'al would be and what kind of look my avatar would have on its face. We are here to lend moral support when you want it Crumpy. Go get em! It's too late for me to do August without drinking as I spent the first two days of it with a few beers, but I'm not exactly a big drinker anyway. I know some people who might like to try your initiative. Or rather should try.  |
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Post by Spiderweb on Aug 3, 2015 8:53:20 GMT
Good luck!
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Post by hardly on Aug 3, 2015 9:07:33 GMT
Congratulations on committing to this challenge. If you ever wonder why you need to do it then just remember the more you "need" a drink, the more likely it is you have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. Board games without booze - I've done it both ways, its better without, although I do occasionally drink while playing I often get so involved in the game I forget to drink. While its kind of funny trying to think complex thoughts while boozed and then laughing at how useless you are, you'll play better without it and win more games and for me that's worth the sobriety. If you get some tunes going, and you are playing with some fun people, you'll have a good time without booze. Consider it a challenge to make it fun without the grog because if you have the right people there it should be. In-laws - I hear you. My motto is if they are too boring to spend time with sober, prioritise other more fun activities. My in-laws don't discuss much I'm interested in, they don't even know what GODUS is, so I give them token time and save the rest for me. Work is a real problem since you seem to work in the booziest industry in the worlds booziest country. My only advice is to think about the money you save (which you probably really need for your wedding and honeymoon and maybe a house). I'm obsessive about money so when I don't go to the pub and save heaps of cash I feel real good about it, better than if I had a drink. Especially since I hate bars, ghastly places. You are an accountant so try estimate all the money you've spent on booze in your life. Its fucking heaps isn't it and you really want it back? If you adopt a Scrouge McDuck mentality about money it will get you financially sorted and keep you sober. Finally, just remember that alcohol causes cancer - en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcohol_and_cancer#Alcohol_as_a_carcinogen_and_cocarcinogen - By not drinking you are extending your life and increasing your chances of living to the singularity (basically where technological progress will reach a point where we invent an AI that helps us live for ever). How would you feel if you missed out on immortality by a couple of years just because you drunk too much booze. As an accountant you probably have your money super in hand, house deposit ready and wedding paid for, but most people who drink lots really need to be saving that money for something else, so Im generalising on that basis. |
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Post by Crumpy Six on Aug 3, 2015 10:16:42 GMT
Thanks for the supportive words, everyone It is really very helpful, and I have no doubt I'll need to read back on some of it to keep me going! Hardly, regarding money, this is an interesting point. We spend a lot on booze. It's by far the biggest proportion of our weekly shop - in fact, when I was doing our online grocery shop earlier today I realised that without the alcohol expense we might have to pay for delivery! That's never happened before. While I deliberately avoid itemising pub and restaurant bills, it's easily our biggest social expense too. So we will undoubtedly save a lot of money this month if we stick to the plan. I'm hoping that calculating how much we've saved at the end of the month might inspire us to continue to moderate our drinking. Not drinking during board games turned out to be completely fine. On a normal Sunday night, after our friends have left we regret how drunk we are. We are sleepy, unmotivated and want to go straight to bed. We often don't bother clearing up, or even packing the last game away, instead leaving everything until the next morning. We'll forget things that need doing like taking something out of the freezer to defrost, putting on the bread machine, putting on a clothes wash, etc. None of this is fun to wake up to the next day when you're hung over. Monday 3rd AugustThis day would normally be straight-forward, as Monday is not a drinking day. On a typical Monday we will go to the boxing gym in the evening, which involves high-intensity interval training. Drinking before or after this session is out of the question. However, we are skipping the gym today because we've got a little DIY project which urgently needs completing: our new flat-pack shed has arrived, so we'll have to tear down the old one, build the new one and paint it, before it's nicked out of the back garden or weather-damaged. Neither of us particularly enjoys DIY, and we find that a few beers make the job go a lot easier. This is a good example of how quickly a non-drinking day can turn into a drinking day. So that's today's challenge. Today is also the first Monday in quite some time when I have not been hung over in the morning. However, I slept very badly last night, whereas I'd normally be out like a light. I ended up having to get up at about 2am to take a melatonin pill. I always knew alcohol had a negative impact on sleeping patterns but it hadn't occurred to me that I might have begun to depend on it to actually fall asleep in the first place. |
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Post by morsealworth on Aug 3, 2015 14:44:05 GMT
Well done! Keep it up. I'm not a drinker in the first place, so I don't know what you're going through, but sounds tough.
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Post by Crumpy Six on Aug 4, 2015 9:00:28 GMT
Tuesday August 4th
Yesterday's DIY project went without incident (as far as drinking is concerned anyway.. presently we have a pile of rubble in the garden, a flat-pack shed untouched and a house full of bikes and garden tools). Had it not been for Dry August, we would definitely have rewarded ourselves with a beer after we were done for the day.
Tuesday is normally another non-drinking day, but once again we have an exception. Tomorrow will be the same. You can probably see now what I meant in my OP when I said there aren't many 'typical' weeks. We're visiting my parents tonight, who are taking us out for dinner. My parents are both heavy drinkers. On a normal day they will drink a few beers and a bottle of wine in the evening. On any other day (weekend, going out, having company over) they will drink a lot more. My mother is on a diet and has lost a lot of weight, but she refuses to cut down on drinking, even though she knows she should.
Dinner with my parents usually involves pints at home, then pints in the restaurant, then several bottles of wine, followed by a night-cap after dessert. It's great fun, and hopefully it will be just as enjoyable without all the booze.
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Casinha
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Post by Casinha on Aug 4, 2015 9:18:56 GMT
Nicely done, sounds like you're going strong.
As someone who doesn't usually drink (if I do it's usually to blend in at some sort of social function, but I don't really enjoy it) I've always been fascinated, and sometimes perturbed, by peoples' love for it. I understand that tastes differ, so it's not surprising that many people enjoy alcohol, but for so many people in the country to be able to regularly dedicate time over the weekend (Cardiff is packed on Friday/Saturday nights) to drinking I sometimes wonder what the social scene at such times would be like if alcohol wasn't at all involved.
Anyway, best of wishes on your jaunt along the straight and narrow, fingers crossed you don't fall.
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Lord Ba'al
Supreme Deity
Posts: 6,260
Pledge level: Half a Partner
I like: Cats; single malt Scotch; Stargate; Amiga; fried potatoes; retro gaming; cheese; snickers; sticky tape.
I don't like: Dimples in the bottom of scotch bottles; Facebook games masquerading as godgames.
Steam: stonelesscutter
GOG: stonelesscutter
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Post by Lord Ba'al on Aug 4, 2015 9:27:17 GMT
I'm sure your parents would be happy to support you by not drinking for one day if you tell them of your initiative. Perhaps instead they can supplement their appetite with all sorts of small yummy snacks.
By the way, I haven't drunk any alcohol yesterday and I won't be drinking any today, if that helps any.
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Post by Crumpy Six on Aug 4, 2015 10:35:32 GMT
Nicely done, sounds like you're going strong. As someone who doesn't usually drink (if I do it's usually to blend in at some sort of social function, but I don't really enjoy it) I've always been fascinated, and sometimes perturbed, by peoples' love for it. I understand that tastes differ, so it's not surprising that many people enjoy alcohol, but for so many people in the country to be able to regularly dedicate time over the weekend (Cardiff is packed on Friday/Saturday nights) to drinking I sometimes wonder what the social scene at such times would be like if alcohol wasn't at all involved. Anyway, best of wishes on your jaunt along the straight and narrow, fingers crossed you don't fall. Going into town on a Friday/Saturday night, getting smashed and going to night clubs does not appeal to me at all and never has. I have done it before a few times (mainly coerced by friends who insisted "you'll love it when you get there") and hated it. It was only when I got to my mid-twenties that I had the self-confidence to accept that it's ok not to enjoy that kind of thing, and it doesn't make you boring or weird. One of my friends at university loved clubbing at the weekend. She'd go with one of her friends and they'd both be on the pull. They'd later laugh and tell stories about their drunken exploits, one of which involved stealing unattended drinks off the bar which turned out to have been spiked, and another involved one of them vomiting into an empty pint glass, leaving it on the bar then snogging some random guy. It's easy to be appalled when you hear stories like this, especially when you consider how commonplace this sort of thing is. But drinking culture is surprisingly diverse. On the other end of the spectrum you have middle-aged, middle-class people (like my parents) who enjoy relaxing in the evening with a glass of wine or a bottle of premium lager, and especially over a long period of time, one or two can turn into three or four. |
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Lord Ba'al
Supreme Deity
Posts: 6,260
Pledge level: Half a Partner
I like: Cats; single malt Scotch; Stargate; Amiga; fried potatoes; retro gaming; cheese; snickers; sticky tape.
I don't like: Dimples in the bottom of scotch bottles; Facebook games masquerading as godgames.
Steam: stonelesscutter
GOG: stonelesscutter
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Post by Lord Ba'al on Aug 4, 2015 10:52:59 GMT
That whole scene you described never appealed to me either. I've never been a social butterfly in that regard. I guess everyone is different. I can drink an awful lot but I still won't behave like an idiot. Qetesh is very much the opposite of me.  |
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Post by Qetesh on Aug 4, 2015 16:03:11 GMT
That whole scene you described never appealed to me either. I've never been a social butterfly in that regard. I guess everyone is different. I can drink an awful lot but I still won't behave like an idiot. Qetesh is very much the opposite of me. I am a social butterfly, I crave it and no alcohol is needed, tbh. I just miss my country and culture/ circle of friends I used to have. There's booze everywhere but people are priceless. I am a loud takative outgoing people pleaser. Add alcohol and I am the world's best friend. If I do go out, I would make friends for the day in a heartbeat....anybody from a 70 year old man to a 25 year old girl, I can pretty much talk to anyone. I am total opposite of Ba'al, he is shy. I have not had a drink since Saturday. I am trying to quit smoking, and drinking would make that harder so I am aiming to avoid more too. I bet after your first week, it will get easier. I quit for my pregnancy and again several years back I went on a crash diet for 6 months which was dry. After the first week you learn substitutes around your old routines. I bet you will be fine. |
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Lord Ba'al
Supreme Deity
Posts: 6,260
Pledge level: Half a Partner
I like: Cats; single malt Scotch; Stargate; Amiga; fried potatoes; retro gaming; cheese; snickers; sticky tape.
I don't like: Dimples in the bottom of scotch bottles; Facebook games masquerading as godgames.
Steam: stonelesscutter
GOG: stonelesscutter
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Post by Lord Ba'al on Aug 5, 2015 8:26:56 GMT
Did you get through dinner with your parents alright?
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Post by Crumpy Six on Aug 5, 2015 9:56:43 GMT
Qetesh, I also become much more friendly and outgoing when I drink. When I was a teenager I suffered from extreme shyness and social anxiety. I think drinking as a young adult became an easy way for me to come out of my shell. I continue to feel that many social occasions are improved by a few drinks, just because everyone seems so much more relaxed and happy. But maybe that is a misconception. Are you going to cut down this month, or fully join me in dry August? The more the merrier! Also, good luck with quitting smoking. I imagine cutting down on drinking is easy compared to that. My brother had a lot of success switching to vaporizer. Tuesday August 5th
Yesterday's first hurdle came when I opened my parents' fridge and found it stacked top to bottom with delicious, inviting beers. Just looking at them I felt a small rush of anticipation. I would normally have two or three beers before going out to dinner. Resisting temptation doesn't come naturally to me but I managed to shut the door on them. I visited my Nan in the afternoon and must confess that I ate a couple of Guinness chocolates that she gave me. I checked the packaging and they're <1% alcohol, so I'm going to say that does count We walked to the restaurant, which normally means heavy drinking for everyone since there's no designated driver. My parents respected our decision not to drink, but did try (out of habit and politeness) to persuade me to have a glass of wine with dinner. Interestingly, they only had one bottle of wine between them. I don't know if they drank less deliberately to show some solidarity, or if it was again out of politeness (not wanting to get completely smashed when you're out with someone who is sober). Going to a lovely and rather pricey restaurant for a treat and not drinking wine didn't feel quite right. I think wine would have improved the experience, both enhancing the taste of the food, as social lubrication and perhaps increasing our tolerance of the rowdy table of women sitting nearby. This is the first non-drinking occasion since we started Dry August where I felt that not drinking had detracted from the experience. One other interesting thing to note: Normally when we go out for dinner we have dessert, or try hard to resist getting a dessert because we're 'being good'. Maybe the portion sizes were bigger this time, but by the end of the main course we were completely stuffed and in fact I couldn't clear my plate, so desserts weren't even considered. I know that alcohol makes you crave dirty food after a binge, but it hadn't occurred to me that it might have a meaningful impact on your appetite even as you're eating a standard, civilised meal. Tonight I'm going to a steak restaurant with my fiance and a bunch of guys, one of whom reckons he's going to attempt the challenge burger, so I'll report back on that too tomorrow. After my success yesterday I don't anticipate it should be too difficult to resist drinking tonight. However, there will be several heavy drinkers there, as well as several people who I don't know very well. This will be a test of peer pressure and how comfortable I can be in social situations with new people without alcohol. |
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Post by Qetesh on Aug 5, 2015 16:00:25 GMT
It is pretty hard quitting smoking, so for now, just cutting back drinking.
I think I worded myself wrong, without booze I am already quite outgoing, alcohol just throws fuel on that fire.
Try getting your virgin drinks in a "drink glass". One of the hardest things would be being stuck with a "soda glass" while others are tipping back cool martinis and classy wine away. You can have a nice soda water with a splash of cranberry and twist of lime in a rose glass and feel more you out still out drinking something special. It is also not very fattening unlike many virign drinks laden in sugar.
I bartended for years, so ask away for any more cool virgin drinks ideas.
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Post by morsealworth on Aug 5, 2015 20:13:28 GMT
This reminded me of the thread:  |
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Post by Crumpy Six on Aug 6, 2015 8:48:45 GMT
Thursday August 6thA couple of guys at the steakhouse last night had bottles of Peroni (one of my favourites) which made me jealous, but I had no trouble sticking to diet coke. My fiance and I were the only ones not drinking but I didn't feel at all excluded or left out. I explained what we're doing and why. Here are some of the responses I got: - "Wow! You guys drink a lot. I can't remember when I last saw you without a drink." Someone else had said the same thing to me earlier in the day, almost word-for-word.
- One girl said she had done a dry month a while ago, for the same reasons. She was glad she'd done it but she didn't subsequently make any changes to her drinking habits.
- One guy said he once gave up for 18 months. This was following a night out where he ended up spending over £300 on drinks. He's a fairly heavy drinker now when he has the opportunity, but he doesn't spend as much money on it and often drives so ends up drinking very little.
The comments about us drinking a lot and never being seen without a drink came from two guys who regularly see us at the pub quiz or for games night (binge nights). It occurred to me that one of these guys has literally not seen me sober for over two years. Tonight would normally be the pub quiz, but instead we're going to the boxing gym. We should really be working on the shed but we want to go out and get some exercise. So there is very little danger of drinking tonight.
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Lord Ba'al
Supreme Deity
Posts: 6,260
Pledge level: Half a Partner
I like: Cats; single malt Scotch; Stargate; Amiga; fried potatoes; retro gaming; cheese; snickers; sticky tape.
I don't like: Dimples in the bottom of scotch bottles; Facebook games masquerading as godgames.
Steam: stonelesscutter
GOG: stonelesscutter
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Post by Lord Ba'al on Aug 6, 2015 9:54:15 GMT
Well if you see them at pub quiz or games night it's not surprising that they haven't seen you sober.
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Post by Crumpy Six on Aug 7, 2015 20:00:10 GMT
True! It did make me realise that one of these guys has not seen me sober in about 4 years.
Friday 7th August
Last night we went to the boxing gym. I was hoping that after being alcohol-free for 6 days I would be in much better condition, and would perhaps not suffer from post-exercise insomnia, which is something I often struggle with after we've been boxing. This was not the case, and I still ended up lying awake for hours. It occurred to me that in the past I have blamed a lot of things on alcohol. Sleep problems, mood swings, fatigue, nausea, headaches. It's perfectly reasonable to assume that recent alcohol consumption would cause these symptoms, but not necessarily the case.
An important person in my life is unfortunately dying of bowel and liver cancer. He was an alcoholic for many years, and while increased incidence of these cancers is linked to alcoholism, we can't conclude for certain that his drinking caused his illness. However, what I am confident of is that he ignored symptoms and delayed seeing a doctor due to his assumption that the symptoms were simply due to his drinking, and the doctor's only recommendation would be to stop. By the time he sought medical help his cancer was very advanced. This is one of the ways in which excessive drinking can indirectly harm you.
I was off work today, to go to the bridal shop to try on my wedding dress then go for lunch with my mother. Lunch was at a pretty classy restaurant, and when I go there with my fiance we always start with a cocktail then get a bottle of wine. On this occasion my mother was driving, so I didn't feel I was denying her by not ordering wine. And because it was just the two of us and only lunchtime, I didn't feel like not drinking was weird. Tonight we've done more work on the garden shed and that's kept us busy enough not to need typical Friday drinks.
Tomorrow we're going out for dinner with another couple. They are big wine drinkers, and I think they may find it odd (or perhaps boring) that we won't want a bottle of wine with dinner. A few weeks we were out with this couple and the girl wasn't drinking (due to being in recovery from a monstrous hangover). I remember my fiance trying to pressure her into having a glass of wine, calling it "hair of the dog" and suchlike, convinced that she was denying herself for no good reason. It'll serve us right if they apply the same pressure to us now we are trying not to drink.
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When it gets tough, remind yourself that if you give in now all those previous moments that you "suffered" will be in vain. Also think about how disappointed 
